FORMAL LETTER OF INTRODUCTION

Dear Professor Brad,

My name is CongWei, and I was a former electronics student at Temasek Polytechnic. I believe you will remember me as the student who was absent from your first lesson, hence explaining the missing name tag on my table. I came to SIT to further my studies in mechanical engineering as I believe, that at a certain point in our lives, we should start contributing back to society. For me, arming myself with the knowledge and mindset of an engineer would have done exactly that.

I would like to start off by talking about my communication strength. I'm able to project my confidence across to the audience when I'm giving a speech. I don't get nervous easily when I'm addressing a huge crowd. The confidence in me comes in handy as most of our daily communication comes in the form of face-to-face verbal communication. In contrast, being an engineering student over the years had softened my writing skills. I find it difficult not to make any grammatical or vocabulary mistakes while writing an essay.

Under your guidance, I hope to be able to further enhance my verbal communication skills and learn various modes of communication with others. Meanwhile, I hope to brush up on my writing skills by learning to spot the common grammar and vocabulary mistakes made. I would like to end this introduction letter with the following quote: "The enlightenment of being an engineer is to be able to successfully get your ideas across to someone who isn't."

Yours sincerely,

CongWei

 

 

Comments

  1. AmsyarSeptember 8, 2022 at 8:37 PM

    Hello CongWei. The language used is well-written and concise. You provided good examples to enhance your points. An error in the first paragraph would be the usage of the acronym "SIT" before introducing what it means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dai CongWeiSeptember 18, 2022 at 8:23 PM

      Hello Amsyar, thank you for your reply. I have rectified the mistake mentioned.

      Delete
  2. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 17, 2022 at 10:39 PM

    Dear CongWei,

    Thank you for this clear, concise letter and the personal sharing. I really appreciate that your content is fundamentally aligned with the assignment brief. We learn something about your background, your ease in giving presentations and unease with writing and the fact that you feel the need to give back to society. You discuss your goals. You also leave us with an interesting quotation. That's all very interesting.

    What's missing here might be the substantiation. I'd like to know more about why you feel the need to give back and why the know-how and mindet of an engineer will help. I'd like to know where your confidence comes from and how this might serve you in the workplace or academia. In terms of your background, what has made you who you are? I'd also like to know the source of the quote.

    Finally, the letter clocks in at just over 250 words including the salutation. The assignment is for 300 words. In short, you could have given us a bit more beef in the burger.

    There is also one minor language issue in terms of the following verb tense:
    -- For me, arming myself with the knowledge and mindset of an engineer would have done exactly that. > (This is hypothetical, but this case is actually a real case for you)

    I look forward to workin with you further this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dai CongWeiSeptember 18, 2022 at 8:27 PM

      Hi Brad, thank you for your time in giving me the feedback. I have taken notes on the mistakes mentioned and I will work to improve on my future blogging.

      Delete
    2. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 24, 2022 at 8:58 PM

      Thank you, Congwei, for the effort. Like I said, too, you can even edit this work to warm my heart and show your commitment to improvement.

      Delete

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